Today in the car in my mother asked me “when are going to stop trying to fit in with this stereotypical persona?” which me in return not giving much thought to the question respond with something about basketball…
This question has been wondering around in my brain for a while now. My mother was trying to ask me when I was going to stop dressing like a stereotypical lesbian, but honestly the answer is never.
To her I may look like a stereotypical lesbian, but to me I’m comfortable in my own skin finally.. I spent most of my younger years fighting with myself, wondering why I didn’t like boys like all my other friends. I would dress super girly hoping guys would notice me, stuff my bra and put on makeup. When all my friends would go on about how their middle school romances gave butterflies to their stomachs when their “love” would give them a peck in the hall way, I would wonder why I got no butterflies. I would lay awake at night praying to like the cutest boy in school, and ask for god to give me butterflies in my stomach. When I was really just asking to fit in another one of those stereotypical molds that society forces on us. I spent so many years hiding in the wrong persona, a persona that scared me because I knew I didn’t belong there.
So when this question was asked to me by my own mother I couldn’t help but to ignore the question because the answer is just too much to explain to someone who really doesn’t understand the answer.
It took me so long to find myself, and be comfortable with myself. To me when I was begging to be someone I wasn’t, I was trying to fit in with the “stereotypical” mold. Right now I fit to my mold, I have my own persona. I have been “out” for some time now… and I am happy truly happy, so to answer my mother’s question. I will not stop dressing like the person I am, and start dressing like the person you wish I was because it took me a long ass time to get to where I am today, and I’m not trading in my happiness so you can stop getting awkward comments from family on Facebook.
Who is your favourite Dash player?
Breakers vs. Reign, 6/19/14. Please do not repost or remove the watermark.